Tootle Him With Vigor

Badly translated materials. They abound. And, of course, grammatical and lexical errors are hardly limited to translators; just the other day at a gas station I paid by debit card at the pump and there was a sign posted that I should push the green button if I wanted to "except" the transaction. Sigh. Well, let's just enjoy them, then, shall we? Here's a list of some infamous and hilarious translations.I hope you tootle with vigor today!

 The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"

      In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

      In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

     In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

     In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk."

     Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

       

     Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

     In a Tokyo bar: "Special today for the ladies with nuts."

    

     In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

       Puffs tissues tried to introduce its product in German only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse.

     Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride your own ass?"

     In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

     A hotel notice in Madrid: If You Wish Disinfection Enacted In Your Presence, Please Cry Out For The Chambermaid

      An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).

       Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.

      The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

      When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant!"

     In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

      The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty".

      Ford had a problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company discovered that the word Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals".

      When Kentucky Fried Chicken entered the Chinese market, they discovered that their slogan "finger lickin' good" was translated as "eat your fingers off".

      Frank Perdue was no better off. This chicken magnate's slogan: "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" was rendered in Spanish as "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."

     In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

     In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

     In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

      When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

      From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

     Two signs from a Moroccan shop entrance:  - English well speaking   /  - Here speeching American.

     Tokyo hotel's rules: Guests are requested not to smoke and do other disgusting behaviors in bed.

     In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur Coats Made For Ladies From Their Own Skin.

     Sign in a German hospital: No Children Allowed In The Maternity Wards.

       The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athen's hotel:" If You Consider Our Help Impolite, You Should See The Manager.

     A notice in a Vienna hotel: In Case Of Fire Do Your Utmost To Alarm The Hall Porter.

     Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive sideways.